Oh yeah, Titles…

So last week wk this guy kinda offered the Hub a computer. 

Yeah oh this is gonna be a weirdish one. You’ve been warned (:

Anyway yeah it’s pretty much as random as it sounds…Hub does video at a local church as a side gig and some…interesting?…old man kinda offered him a computer. Actually he asked if he could use one…kinda awkwardly put, right or is that me. At first glance you see use but in your head you read it “need” right? lol I might be nutso. But I think he meant could Hub use one. I’ll elaborate in a sec…

Anyway, the Hub, a bit taken aback, heard it like “need”. Our computer is actually kinda busted and the Hub is in the biz but no longer self employed. We rarely use it. The Hub tried politely to say as much. Guy says well I’ll think about it. 

Fast forward and it’s Christmas play/event/whatever at that church.( Pst, that’s tonight.) Hub is there, kinda begrudgingly as he must do this again tomorrow. So is Mr Guy from before. Apparently he’s thought about it and decides Hub could indeed use a computer.  

…I’m forgetting some stuff and I can’t ask Hub because he’s reading. Sorry if you miss some cool stuff. 

Well Hub feels guilty of course because he’s still saying hearing “need”.  

“You deserve it and I wanna give it to you” says Guy. 

“…ok. Well talk after the holidays then?”

Hub is conflicted. He told me part one of this story last week and I said “You’re gonna take that computer, Babe.” Just…told him. Im usually more diplomatic. If I can fight myself hard enough, if it feels important, I’m direct…as possible. I’m getting better as I see how rolling with my weird ass feels always seems to make things go smoother. More…organic. Natural. It’s always been a positive thing so far (though I haven’t been at it long) to go with my vibey things. Somebody pls make up a word for this shit…

Anyway I felt this guy and that he’s on a path, he doesn’t fkn know why, but he’s rolling with it too. If that makes any sense I’m never sure. Apologies. 

Anyway I said all that to Hub. 

“Let him go with his path” I said. 

“Wha..?” 

“He needs to do this I think ya know?”

He doesn’t. 

That brings us to the present. 

See I think Guy feels things too (perceived and dealt with in his own way) and he feels the need to give this to Hub. Now…I can’t speak for Guy, but for me when I feel like I have to do a thing sometimes, ( it’s not often and never wanna do it to be honest even when it’s positive idk why)  it’s not so much a feeling as a “you better…” 

Like push. Internally. 

Seriously, if any of you know some words for this shit that’d be super. 

(Also, if there are weird typos, my phones been randomly autocorrecting to fuck! Out of the blue! ffs I know I say it a lot but this is ridiculous…so pls excuse. Some fks I did indeed drop ofc but these will make sense. Others will be utterly random. That’s Apple.) 

Back to the thing…I think I need to translate for Guy. Seems presumptuous but understand we are not materialistic and I’d hardly as you for a tissue or accept a gift (esp one so large and from a stranger) so I am not after free stuff. I’m just rolling with it I don’t know what else to tell ya. 

Guy says (translation) :Hey you, I gotta do this thing I think and I know it’s weird so pls just shut up and take it? I didn’t say need. I said use. You will use it.

We’re not “church” people…Hub is there to work. He doesn’t know Guy and Guy doesn’t know him. I personally have never laid eyes on him but I smell him. 

This is all I know. I have theories…but I guess we’ll see huh? 

I’m nutso aren’t I. lol I don’t even care…take the computer, Hub. 

Xoxo 

*artwork is my own*