….ever heard of Jim Cleveland?

Me neither. But I loved the hell outta Trailor Park Boys. I can (and will) watch it forever. It’s just…my chill. 

But it somehow lead to this a year or so later. We just wanted to know if there was gonna be a season 11…(there is!!) 

Anyway. That art tho right?

I wish I could take a poll. I think I could on my business account (lol tell ya later) but I don’t know if I’m gonna mix the two yet…


Traditionally, not great. But things are changing. Everything is I guess. Always probably…

Well…I do have a comment section I abuse every chance I get so…pls do leave your feels if you have any. I get that vocabulary has its rhythms. 

Speaking of…great as that art is…pls do click this and…as a personal favor if that helps…read it. Just read it like even if you have no idea wtf is going on there (like I said, vocab..) skim the words anyway. I love the feel of words and the sound of people talking…my favorite place to sleep would be at a party. Like a baby shower or something lol not a party…trying to say it’s kinda nice like listening to opera in Italian. 

The last paragraph. 

That’s another thing I’d poll you about. How’s your feels? If any…

I don’t think it’s an opinion thing for me to be honest. Really just wanna know your feels or, you know whatcha thinkin bout? lol anyway that’s why comment sections are a thing. I have no rules here. And I genuinely don’t ever judge people but you never believe me…lol. I wonder though…I wonder if (and why?) we feel it’s necessary to hide ourselves. I do anyway. You know Arrested Development? The Never Nudes? He wore cut off tiny denim shorts under his clothes always and he even showered with them lol. Literally. Never. Nude. 

For most of my life I’ve kinda done the same. In my own ways and expressions with my own reasons ofc but yeah. I actually refer to myself and that time of life as The Tower and it’s really the only thing you could call it. 

Except maybe for this 

But actually that’s more of a view from the inside. I can’t know the lyrics I don’t want to. I don’t think I have to I feel em. Anyway. Aw the 90s…

Dammit guys on my biz site (empty btw since day one…and it’s not cheap we invested. Without any idea why. And we’re not like…people who can do that really. Most would say it was dumb I guess. But it could play that song for you straight from my Spotify. No clicks and links and blaaah…

Babe I might do it lol. Leave a comment hahaha. 

He will too. Eventually. 

Anyway so I think it’s probably just pain. Survival. But…if you had a Tower too (vocab…) you had it a looong time I’d bet. You may still be in it or dealing with those lovely subconscious boobie-traps…lol it gets easier. Sometimes. 

I read somewhere that monsters can only be defeated if they’re faced. They could also defeat you I suppose but…I’m starting to think death is a better option than running. I am So. Very. Tired. 

That said, Lemon Parade wouldn’t be my ballad these days. (Lol so dramatic with my musical identity…) 

I think my new song might be this…

Come on remember who you are. 

If you know my blogs, you know they’ve got a lot of incubus refs. I didn’t plan that. I’m on an all organic diet. Emotionally anyway. That’s a tough one to stick to in the age of the Digi-stuffs and the interwebs…it’s just I want the Truth now. No more bullshit I’m too damn tired. 

So I don’t go researching things that can only be answered with opinions or hearsay. Yeah I’m woke lol so what.  It’s inconvent but ever so worth it. 

Sometimes.  Like when I find guys like Jim. Or every long night spent with Hub asking ourselves why we’ve never asked ourselves anything before…

Ugh I have a great example to demonstrate but this post is starting to get rambly and long. Mysorries. 

One more…


Oh snap I didn’t realize I picked such an intense one…lol ooops. You’re welcome. (;

Pls let me know if I messsed up any linkage/embedding. It’s very important to me that all artists get their credit and all readers their content bc well…that’s my job lol. And it matters to me. 

Oh…this is the “word of the day” today according to some app I have and i knew it was the title of this post so…

Definition of: ‘saudade’ is: ‘a deep emotional state of melancholic longing for a person or thing that is absent.’. Learn more at:




11 thoughts on “Saudad 

  1. The artwork is fabulous. And I think life is disjointed and more like the way you write because life is just like that and not all neat little boxes that the power mongers/status quo lovers want it to be. That’s just conditioning and brainwashing so they can get MORE. Life is rambling and flowing and moving and stopping and starting. It’s always changing, every microsecond…we are different, even if we can’t see it. Nothing stays the same. I think monsters can be destroyed by facing them, by ignoring them or realizing we made a lot of them up ourselves so we can let them go. More ways to get rid of them than we think. Fear keeps them going so cut off the food supply and they wither and die. See…this was kind of a rambling reply. LOLOLOL

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Woah! You killed it in that comment lol nice! I never thought of it that way but I think you have a very good point…I never did fit in those damn boxes haha. Teachers always hated my writing. I just don’t do well with rules lol. Ugh school conditioning…SO much to say on that subject. Too much.
      Ahh…you described jazz. Life is jazz I like that. (:
      I’m starting to wonder if the monsters are really friends anyway. It’d make sense that anything they say is bad is actually good.
      Fear. Boom. It’s a lie. A tool or “structure” used to control. We’ve started dissembling fear here when we catch it. So far turns out there’s really nothing to fear. You have to think your way out of it but if you do, you’ll see you have some power. Take that shit it’s yours. Yeah…they are eating us. It’s gross and disappointing but it’s true. We can stop being food tho. Well said. Ramble away it’s my favorite haha xoxo


    1. lol I totally spelled the title wrong *face palm*
      Me too girl. But…if you don’t wanna be, you may have the option to just say Nope! Identify what you’re longing for and try to make some peace with it, good bad and ugly. I’m learning I have to just dive into the darkness sometimes. It’s the fastest way to the light.
      You’re so not pathetic the word you’re searching for is human. You are human. And feels come outta nowhere lol don’t take responsibility for em just kick em outta your house if you don’t want them anymore. Ugh this sounds so trite I’m sorry.
      I’m here for you. That’s my real answer. Xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aw really?! It’s sooo good to hear if I’ve helped someone. You’ve helped me tremendously too believe it! Hub and I are both still making our way thru your blog when time permits. Never met anyone who thinks like you do and I’m a big fan (: xo


      2. That’s pretty cool that you’ve never met anyone that thinks like I do. Thankyou for reading my blog and the hub! My husband reads everything I write. Unless I tell him it will be too painful. I think I have told him to skip two.
        But yes, you have helped me a lot. You inspire me to be keep being real and raw and honest and I see you as very brave which encourages me when I am feeling weak. So thank you

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You got me to cry! What sorcery is this! You are so sweet. If I give that it’s only bc I got it from you and others that have inspired me so it’s mutual (: it’s encouraged me to encourage others to give ppl another chance before drawing conclusions bc I would’ve said the world is a dark mean place at best and passive at worst. I thought being me in public was suicide. Quite the opposite. Aww I heart you xoxo


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